You Don't Look Jewish...

One recent evening out at the bar, a couple I was speaking with asked me about my plans for the holidays. I started talking about celebrating Hanukkah and Christmas and living in a multi-religious household. I was raised and am Jewish, but my father is Christian, and I actively celebrate those holidays for him and other Christian members of my family. And honestly, I just love Christmas!


At a table next to theirs was seated two good friends who I will call Michelle and Rihanna, whose nice evening was crashed rather abruptly by another woman who frequently drinks to the point of embarrassing inebriation. I will call her Mrs. Tequila. I actually had wanted to just say hi to my two friends Michelle and Rihanna but Mrs. Tequila wasn’t budging, so I chose to be polite and say hi to her as well. It just so happened though that I had caught Mrs. Tequila before she had begun imbibing so I figured it was safe. Little did I know...
Mrs. Tequila had overheard me telling the older couple that I was Jewish and loudly asked me, “So you are Jewish???”
“Yes I am Jewish,” I answered.
“So your mother and father are Jewish?”
“Well (not that it was any of her business) my mother was Jewish and my father is Christian. I was raised Jewish and again, I am Jewish.” I responded wondering where this was going.
“Well why do you celebrate Christmas?” she inquired.
“I celebrate both holidays. Alot my family members are Christian.”
She looked at me and said matter of factly, “Well you don’t look Jewish.”
I shook my head in disbelief and asked “What is that supposed to mean?”

At this point, Michelle and Rihanna were growing visibly uncomfortable.

Mrs. Tequila said, “Well, you are cute and you don’t look like other Jews.”

I responded raising my voice, “I just asked you what the hell is that supposed to mean?! I am cute and other Jews are not?”

“Well Jews have a certain look, dark looking and swarthy, You know what I mean. You don’t look like them.”

“No, I don’t know what you mean!” I exclaimed. “This is so ignorant, let me tell you about Jewish people…” I began schooling her on how Jews are not just one “look”. They are as varied as any group of people in the world!

“I know Jewish people, I grew up in North East Philly!” she retorted.

“WHAT? What are you talking about? You have no idea what you are saying or talking about, do you??” I yelled at her.

I began to tell her that my family mostly descends from Jews from Eastern Europe. “That group includes Jews from Slavic countries, Poland, Russia ….” I started.

“Oh my God, Russian people are horrible!!!” she belted out.
“WHAT?! I am a Russian Jew!” I exclaimed.
Mrs. Tequila continued rambling on. I just shut her out.
I stopped and stared into her eyes and stated, “I am so offended by you. I am done with this conversation.” I walked away.

Michelle and Rihanna just sat at the table in shock, equally offended.

At that point, one could begin screaming at or possible drench Mrs. Tequila with my drink, her drink, Michelle’s drink, and Rihanna’s drink but I did not. Sometimes even in this day and age, you come across such blatant idiocy and ignorance that it leaves you just absolutely speechless. There was no point in schooling Mrs. Tequila on her ignorance. The better thing to do is walk away and later, possibly have a conversation with Mrs. Tequila on how offensive she was IF I were to approach her again on the slim chance that she is sober.