Mourning Our Losses

There is a beautiful song called "A Boat on the Sea" by Kristen Vigard from the movie, Grace of My Heart with the lyrics "I never knew I was built so strong ... my heart is a boat on the sea ... I never knew I was built for hurricanes ... my heart is a boat on the sea." 

There is a strength you get from getting older that you never had before. It amazes you, tends to harden you, and also greatly saddens you.  It is a strength you develop from loss. You deal with death with emotions, tears, anger and frustration, but you start dealing with it rather matter of factly as well. It kinda sucks but it also comes from a place of strength you gain in being exposed to it more and more. The heartbreaking emotions are still there but you learn to process them better. Time does not heal old wounds. The wounds still hurt, but you get through it, somehow, hopefully stronger.

Forgive me for my rambling style, I may be a bit all over the place. I have found out this evening that one of my best friends from the 90's passed away. 

It has already been a tough Spring. I mourned the 7th anniversary of my beloved mother's passing on April 10th. That date through Mother's Day, this year May 8th, has always been difficult. I made it through as I always have but not without shedding tears. I think about Mom now more with smiles. That month between her passing and Mother's Day is broken by tears, and a sob here and there. I look up to Heaven and miss her, but smile knowing that I am more and more like her in my thinking, ethics, and morals. For that I am proud. 

RIP Randy

The crux behind this blog post is that tonight I found out I lost a dear old friend that I hadn't spoken to in the last 6 months. Randy Price died back in February in a tragic car accident. He was 53. I worked with Randy back in the late 90's at the City Tavern Restaurant in Philly. We were "thick as thieves" as they say, getting into all sorts of mayhem in Center City bars from Old City to Rittenhouse Square after working long shifts at the Tavern. He was so funny, always cracking jokes, genuinely nice and warm. His laughter and energy were infectious. 

Randy had contacted me after the "first" City Tavern reunion with the old crew saying how much he had wanted to go and was gonna try and make the next one. He and I rambled on one evening through phone calls and then texts into the early morning hours, reminiscing about old times, getting caught up. I was lucky enough that we actually expressed how much we meant to each other as old friends. I won't forget that. I just wished I had saved those texts. 

I had invited Randy through email, text, and voicemail, to our second City Tavern Reunion in February 2016. He never responded. I was disappointed but thought I'd connect with him again sooner or later. His accident was less than a week after the reunion. I never got that chance. His brother was going through his personal effects the other evening and found my cell # in a Christmas card I had sent Randy a couple years ago, calling me to let me know of the tragic news. 

Randy was an incredible person. He had sobered up and become a nurse. Our mutual friend Sam remarked that he was proud to call Randy his friend. Yes, Sammy you are so correct. There weren't many like Randy. He needs to be remembered as one of the good ones. 

I mourn for Randy's passing. Somewhat selfishly because I feel like I had just reconnected with him and there was a potential for our friendship to begin again and become stronger. I also mourn because his death was so unexpected, such a waste for someone who absolutely loved now what he was doing with his life. He was also proud that he had reconnected and grown closer with his two brothers.

If you get anything from this post, please say a prayer for someone that you were close to that you've lost and deserves to be remembered. In addition, let those know how much you love them. We need to be reminded how much those mean to us in the event the unthinkable happens. Life changes in an instant. It is so cliche', but so true.  As my friend Paul stated, live each day as if it were your last. 

http://www.devlinrosmoskepp.com/obituaries/Randy-Price-3/