Flower Rockets are a DUD



So with this day being what would've been my mother's 75th birthday, I am dedicating this laughably "garden" blog post to my dear Mom Abby. I feel she would've gotten a kick out of this post. And in retrospect, I think I will follow her gardening advice from here on in and plant marigolds and impatiens because as she used to say, "They'll survive anything!"

Back at the end of April, I purchased several Flower Rockets at the local Rite-Aid store. They were on sale for $1.00 per box (that should've been my first clue) and even better yet they're... "AS SEEN ON TV!"(second clue, slapping me in the face).

I have WHEAT growing on my deck...
Yes, I am sometimes a sucker for that age-old slogan slapped on any merchandise. The Hurricane Spin Mop?  The Pyramid Silicone Baking Mat? The Dump Cake Cook Book!? Brett Favre's Copper Fit Socks!?!? All seen on TV??? I'll take them!

LOL I'm not that bad BUT I was excited about these little boxes labeled "Flower Rockets." I figured how easy is this? Plant a biodegradable pod of seeds and in a month to 2 months, have a ROCKET of flowers ALL SUMMER LONG! This I figured, would save me so much time and energy and bursts of color would be blooming all over the yard! They promised an entire summer and fall of hundreds of zinnias, hummingbirds flowers, and summer bouquets!

I don't know what the heck this is!!!
I took a picture of the Flower Rocket boxes but it came out blurry. Perhaps my skepticism was trying to rear it's ugly head and shake some sense into me via my phone. The very first pic above was copied online and shows what is SUPPOSED to grow from the seed pods. 6 boxes, NOT ONE BLOOM.

I start each Spring off this way. I get so excited about my yard with the multiple flower beds and planters. I makes lists on what I am going to plant. I hunt for sales on plantings. I get all the gardening equipment out and clean them off. I make sure I have gardening gloves, seeds, plant food, pesticides, etc. The yard is big so it's quite a daunting task. But I said to myself, this year will be different. The Flower Rockets will make it easier!

3 mths later, NOTHING
WRONG. I planted 6 Flower Rockets. and 100% of them were DUDs upon lift off. NO FLOWERS. Three months later, three of them didn't even grow! The other 3 were just weeds, weeds, weeds! After all is said and done, I don't even know what these weeds are! For all I know, I am bringing in invasive species into my friggin' yard!  I ended up planting primroses late in the season in two of the empty flower pots.

Screw the rockets, bring in the roses.
After the fact, I did some research and found that the MAJORITY of buyers of the Flower Rockets (at least on Amazon) were very unhappy and had the same crappy experience as me. In other words, NOTHING GREW. Next year, I'm sticking with Mom's advice and buying just impatiens and marigolds. Heck, even the deer stay away from the marigolds!

Buyer beware my friends! https://www.amazon.com/Roll-Out-Flowers-Flower-Rocket/dp/B00BHIUT4Q

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