Rough Patch
It was Winston Churchill who so eloquently stated, “If you are going through hell, keep going.”
We all have them, those emotional rough
patches. They can be triggered by family, relationships, friends, work,
physical issues, or finances. I’m sure you can come up with other triggers as
well. It’s those times in life which become so overwhelming you are at a loss
of what to do.
I recently hit a rough patch which effected many
areas of my life including work and friends. My rough patch was triggered by these two subjects. And so goes the merry-go-round of emotions,
each making the other worse by exacerbating my existing issues.
As I stare out of my 3rd floor office window (and
yes, I write over my lunch while at work), I gaze out at beyond the Allentown
skyline at the Blue Mountain range stretching from as far West as I can see to
as far East as I can see.
What is beyond that view? I cannot see it but I know it is there. For me right here right now, it is hidden from my view. Yet, I know there is so much more beyond that range. There is so much more to life than what is before our faces.
What is beyond that view? I cannot see it but I know it is there. For me right here right now, it is hidden from my view. Yet, I know there is so much more beyond that range. There is so much more to life than what is before our faces.
A commercial jetliner takes off from Allentown airport,
heading westward. I wistfully think, “Take me with you!” Where is it
headed? Sometimes it does not matter, does it? It is headed somewhere, somewhere other than here. And I desire to be on it, taking me away from my problems.
There is more to life than here. I am reminded of that bubble bath TV commercial from the 1970s, “Calgon, take me away!” Friends my age and older will surely remember it. At this instant, my mother is in my head, saying that catch phrase. And I am 7 again, sitting at the kitchen table in my childhood home. My mother says it laughingly, to no one in particular. She wipes the heat of the kitchen from her brow, momentarily exasperated. She then catches and composes herself and lovingly smiles down to me.
There is more to life than here. I am reminded of that bubble bath TV commercial from the 1970s, “Calgon, take me away!” Friends my age and older will surely remember it. At this instant, my mother is in my head, saying that catch phrase. And I am 7 again, sitting at the kitchen table in my childhood home. My mother says it laughingly, to no one in particular. She wipes the heat of the kitchen from her brow, momentarily exasperated. She then catches and composes herself and lovingly smiles down to me.
It is times like these, where I despair at what is happening
in my life ... and I retreat. I pull back to the comfort of my home, my safe place. I turn off all contact. I need to nurse wounds, figure out my next step, build back
up my courage to face the world.
Having a rough patch is emotionally exhausting. People who
suffer from actual depression are physically worn out and drained by it,
sometimes for weeks on end. I am lucky in that I may need only a day or two to
get myself back on track. Others fall into a well, unable to climb out. Those friends need our compassion, our understanding.
When I have a bad day on the job, I always have it in the
back of my mind, well this conference has to end at some point, or my day will
have to end at some point and since I cannot do overtime, I have to leave
whether I like it or not! But that is a bad work day. Bad days and rough patches also come from deep down inside. It feels lower than you've ever been before. The depths seem immeasurable. You are staring up at that tiny pin prick of life from the bottom of the well. How do I get up? How do I get out?
And those dark feelings linger. They draw me back down that deep dark hole. The ladder doesn't appear sometimes for a good day or two.
There is nothing wrong in taking time for yourself, holing up in your house for a couple days, avoiding social contact. You do not have to do every thing you are invited to. You do not have to go out every night. You do not have to go to every BBQ, every party, every happy hour. Take time for yourself.
For myself, when I am in that rough patch, I get off social media. Some people may not agree with me but as a general rule, I will not get the support I may truly need on social media websites. It is fleeting. I instead connect and talk with my closest friends. That connection via phone or in person will be more meaningful than a "like". You cannot get a REAL hug from social media.
(I will ALWAYS give those virtual hugs when a friend is in need but sometimes one just needs the real thing.)
One thing to remember is that there is an entire world out there. Don’t get trapped into
thinking your little community or circle is the end all and be all of your life. There is so much more out there beyond your gated community! One just needs to expand their mind and explore. Step out of that comfort zone.
You are STRONG enough to get through those rough patches. We all have those periods in our life. Just nurse yourself for a bit.
But also recognize when a rough patch becomes something more, and then seek help and guidance to figure out how to get through it. There is nothing to be ashamed of.
Some websites which may help:
https://www.betterhelp.com/helpme/
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ 1-800-273-8255
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/coping-with-depression.htm
You are STRONG enough to get through those rough patches. We all have those periods in our life. Just nurse yourself for a bit.
But also recognize when a rough patch becomes something more, and then seek help and guidance to figure out how to get through it. There is nothing to be ashamed of.
Some websites which may help:
https://www.betterhelp.com/helpme/
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ 1-800-273-8255
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/coping-with-depression.htm
Comments
Post a Comment