Welcome to Lyme Disease

"LYME" 

So here I am, the lucky recipient of a tick borne disease with the curious name of Lyme Disease. It's been a helluva crazy last two weeks but I want to tell my story. My body at this point, feels damaged, injured. Not beyond the sense of repair, but things are now definitely different and I will have to live with it and whatever transpires after treatment. I was angry in the beginning at the incompetency of my medical diagnosis. Now I am getting empowered to get through this phase of treatment.

People are extremely sympathetic and have been nothing but supportive. Some have not,  with the misunderstanding that I "appear" fine when they see me. But then they are not privy to the pain of my joints and the intense wave of exhaustion and fatigue which can strike at anytime and be debilitating. Or the fogs ... the brain fogs which hamper your concentration and memory. I hope this blog serves as an education of sorts on what one with a bad case of Lyme disease goes through.

I get it. I seem fine at some parts of the day. I actually feel fine. I am laughing, I am alert, I have strength, energy. But then it hits. It feels like someone pours liquid exhaustion over your from your head to your toes. You exhale and sigh, waiting for that feeling to end. When it does, you feel as if you could collapse from the fatigue right then and there. I am weak I just don't know. It is the worst feeling. You don't know when it will end. You just have to ride it out.

The brain fog comes and goes as well. It feels like I have OD'd on cold medication. This incredible fogginess centered on my forehead down the my mouth. Just weighing there, moving with a heaviness every time I move my head. Almost like a soft heavy brick on my forehead, but deeper. I can't shake it. I try and I try. It's just deadening. I cannot drive far. What is this????? It's just upsetting. It takes all of my efforts to focus.

I look at the support groups and the people are them are extremely supportive. I am very lucky in that I don't have it as bad as some people. But I do have it bad enough where it is interfering with my work and my life. I feel lost but at least I now know so I am feeling empowered instead of incredibly angry. But I was angry. I will blog about that later. For now, my energy focuses on my ability to rest and just get through the day.

That has to be it for now, I have really good moments but then, really difficult ones. I hope you all understand. The fogginess comes over me and I cannot figure out things or remember things. I feel like my synapses aren't connecting for some reason.

I feel like spaced out. It's scary. Some times I am fine. Sometimes I am foggy. Sometimes exhausted beyond belief. Sometimes I am scared. Sometimes I am incredibly angry and enraged. Sometimes I am empowered. I have to be EMPOWERED.

I need to let the medicine work and understand it may take a couple weeks. It sucks. I'm not going into detail. It's a long road ahead. I am going to be strong, empowered, and knowledgeable of it all. That's the only thing I can be. I am blessed with my life. I will continue to fight this and figure out remedies to help me through it.

Anyway, thanks friends for the help and support I have been given so far! XOXO Marc