The Tie

Last week, I was shopping in a consignment store and was drawn over to the tie rack. Was that it? Was that the tie? My heart felt like it stopped momentarily. It was slender, cloth, very "Mod", late 50's/early 60's. I looked at it closer and deeply sighed, "Nope, wrong color." I would have to still keep looking. After all, I've been looking for the last 3 decades. What's another year?

Unfortunately, no it was not THE tie. The tie I am looking for was very special. It was my Grandpop Herman Newman's tie. I remember I came across it in a box of stuff that my Mom was giving away. I asked if I could have it because it was his and without a seconds thought she replied of course!

I kept it for years, hanging it in a special place on the tie rack for those ties. There are my favorite ties from the early 90s when I would go dancing with Sheryl at clubs across Philly. There are two ties from the 80s which were my Dad/s. There is a dophin tie my stepdad Barry gave me (which I think my sister Sheryl gave him, LOL). 

I knew I'd probably never wear Grandpop's tie but just to have something of his was so cool. I believe in retrospect it also had to do with the fact that I revered him so much. My Grandpop was on a pedestal for me. Such an incredible man. 

So what happened to THE TIE. A while ago, someone accidently got rid of the tie, thinking it was for the thrift store. It was an accident. To that person, it may have been just a tie but for me, it was a connection to my past, my history, another time, my Grandpop. I was crushed. That person was extremely remorseful and of course was forgiven. I knew it wasn't done on purpose but it still hurt.

I'm the type of guy who covets items from family members for sentimental reasons. Most friends knows that about me. I'm not a hoarder, you can still get around my house. Im just extremely sentimental about family object d'art, photos, heirlooms, bric-a-brac, whatever may have an association with the Newman or Haynes family. My brother and sister are the same. We are constantly passing back and forth items which belonged to my mother, my father, my grandparents, etc.

It's interesting, I've always wanted to tell the story of THE TIE just for the loss part of it. I never realized, one of the most important parts was also the forgiveness. That makes me happy, satisfied, and complete. 

So I will continue searching for it. For the last 2 or 3 decades, I have been every now and then, been searching for the same tie. I hope to find it one day. What's another decade?

BLOGGERS NOTE:  This blogpost is dedicated to Jack Ross, who passed away on December 28, 2020. Jack religiously commented on almost every blogpost I wrote since we became friends. I will always remember that. God bless him. Rest in Peace Jack. You were my Sensei and I was your ever-learning Grasshopper. 💗