The Devil's Vote
I exercised my civic duty last night. I always have this overwhelming sense of patriotic pride whenever I vote. I feel it is an important expression of our democracy. It is obvious that not everyone feels that way: bitter people who don’t believe in our electoral process. Don’t worry, I still love ya.
Anyway, I made my way down to my small township building after work last night. I parked and got out of my car and then immediately fell in front it. It was so dark and well, walking sometimes is a problem for me. LOL.
I picked my clumsy self up and made my way past those political party volunteer people waiting for that LAST chance to change your mind. They always crack me up. They are just HOPING you will say hi to them and ask them something. Next time, I should just go up to each of them and say, “OK, give me your best argument!” just to mess with them. And then try and get them to brawl with each other. Mental note for 2016 election: “Make political party volunteers brawl at my polling place and then step away innocently like I don’t know what is happening …”
I went inside and waited in line. Everyone was in a good upbeat mood, smiling, exchanging pleasantries. The lady at the voting table was very nice. She took my ID, found my name and wrote it down on the large voter ledger book.
I looked down at the book as she was writing my name. For some geek reason, I like seeing what number voter I am for each election. There was my name and next to it, the number 666. I was the devil’s vote. Only me. What the frig!
“Well that can’t be GOOD!” I exclaimed. The older woman said, “What?” not even noticing.
“Look!” I cried, “I am voter #666!”
Everyone behind me collectively gasped. I was now a voting pariah.
“Well,” she began smiling awkwardly, “If it makes you feel any better, there are a number of absentee voters for the township. So really you aren’t #666!”
“Can you move my name to a different number?” I asked.
“Uh … no.”
“Then it doesn’t make me feel any better.” I retorted.
The stares were upon me as I cast the devil’s vote. Who did he vote for? What candidate gets the devil’s vote? Eyes drilled into my back. I sighed and walked out. And I thought the low point of my evening would be falling outside.
Anyway, I made my way down to my small township building after work last night. I parked and got out of my car and then immediately fell in front it. It was so dark and well, walking sometimes is a problem for me. LOL.
I picked my clumsy self up and made my way past those political party volunteer people waiting for that LAST chance to change your mind. They always crack me up. They are just HOPING you will say hi to them and ask them something. Next time, I should just go up to each of them and say, “OK, give me your best argument!” just to mess with them. And then try and get them to brawl with each other. Mental note for 2016 election: “Make political party volunteers brawl at my polling place and then step away innocently like I don’t know what is happening …”
I went inside and waited in line. Everyone was in a good upbeat mood, smiling, exchanging pleasantries. The lady at the voting table was very nice. She took my ID, found my name and wrote it down on the large voter ledger book.
I looked down at the book as she was writing my name. For some geek reason, I like seeing what number voter I am for each election. There was my name and next to it, the number 666. I was the devil’s vote. Only me. What the frig!
“Well that can’t be GOOD!” I exclaimed. The older woman said, “What?” not even noticing.
“Look!” I cried, “I am voter #666!”
Everyone behind me collectively gasped. I was now a voting pariah.
“Well,” she began smiling awkwardly, “If it makes you feel any better, there are a number of absentee voters for the township. So really you aren’t #666!”
“Can you move my name to a different number?” I asked.
“Uh … no.”
“Then it doesn’t make me feel any better.” I retorted.
The stares were upon me as I cast the devil’s vote. Who did he vote for? What candidate gets the devil’s vote? Eyes drilled into my back. I sighed and walked out. And I thought the low point of my evening would be falling outside.
You are still a true patriot even if you had the devil's vote. Love your posts. :-)
ReplyDeleteLOL -- Wish you gave her the devil horns like Elaine on Seinfeld!
ReplyDelete