An EGG -hausting Way to Make Eggs!

NOPE. 

Back in the 70s, I remember my Mom "hard-boiling" eggs on the stove top. I have flashes of memory where she scolding me from getting near the stove. "Now don't touch the stove Marc!" Being the plucky child that I was, of course I touched the stove. It only took one time for me to touch that burner and I never did again. I had burn marks on my palm in a circular pattern from the top burner coil.

Mom would place eggs in the saucepan, bring the water to a rolling boil, turn it off and let it sit for 12-15 minutes depending on the size of the egg. Simple as that. She'd then make her famous egg salad and we'd eventually have toasted egg salad sandwiches for lunch. YUM! Very good memories.

Hard boiling eggs, along with scrambling them and frying them were probably the first things I learned to cook from my folks. That and heating up soup or cooking pasta! I wasn't the most adventurous cook in my youth.

The pain in the butt part about making hard-boiling eggs is NOT the possible splashing of the scalding water and NOT the potential for burning yourself on the range. It's the drudgery involved with peeling those eggs out of their shells! Sure there are ways that can make it easier. Here's a link to several of them:
https://www.epicurious.com/archive/blogs/editor/2014/04/how-to-peel-a-hard-boiled-egg.html

One late late night a couple years ago, I was watching trash TV after a night of bartending. As I sat there at home drinking a nightcap, counting my tips, I flipped on an infomercial for an awesomely EGG-cellent product! It was for Eggies, the kitchen product where you could hard boil eggs without the pain in the butt issue of peeling the eggs!

EGGIE Instructions

EGGIES! I needed them! I was hooked! It looks to easy! So time effective! I think you could get one for $19.99, no WAIT ... If I acted within 30 minutes (at 3:30AM) I could get one for $9.99! NO EVEN BETTER! If I called within 5 minutes, I could get 2 sets of EGGIES for $9.99!!! As my sister Sheryl oft exclaims, "What a bargain!" After the initial excitement wore off, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up about 1/2 hour later and forced myself to bed at around 4AM. But  Eggies were forever burned into my mind.

Fast forward a couple years and I was hunting for treasures at a flea market and what did I come across was the Eggies, sealed, never used, for just $1.00!!! It was a dream come true! Now I would have my Eggies and be able to make them without having to peel off those annoying egg shells. According to the description, I just crack, boil and twist! (Sounds like my 20s, but another story, another time.)

The sealed box of Eggies sat in my pantry for about a year getting buried beneath boxes of pasta. I came across them last weekend cleaning out the pantry and decided once and for all to test them out. out. In each box, you get a set of 6 which make ... duh... 6 hard boiled eggs. Instructions are included and to my surprise, each Egguie is made up of 4 separate parts which twist together. I was staring at a collection of 24 annoying plastic parts! Okaaaay ...

After hand-washing the parts, I laid everything out to assemble. I put each one together and found you have to crack an egg and then pour into the Eggie. Not so hard ...

Ready to Go! 

I then reread the instructions and realized I missed a step. You gotta wipe down the inside with butter or spray oil so the egg doesn't stick to the inside of the Eggie. I sighed deeply, rolled my eyes, cursed at the innocent Eggie and took apart all 6 to their original 24 parts.

I wiped down each with a spray oil and then reassembled them. Another couple minutes had passed and I finally started to crack the eggs and pour them into the Eggies (minus the twist on top of course). The problem was that the yolks, being the heaviest, tended to plug up the top resulting in the eggs whites running EVERYWHERE!

I then tried to pour the egg whites in the Eggies first but the yolks were too heavy and quickly ran out over the Eggie, all over my hands, either onto the counter or onto the floor. ARGH!!!! I was now down two eggs and had 10 left. I could only make four more friggin' mistakes with these STUPID EGGIES.

ODD EGGIES

I took my time with the subsequent Eggies and managed to get all six filled with eggs with the tops twisted on. I followed the instructions closely and while boiling, watched them dip and bob around the saucepan. That was amusing for a bit.

After the required time in the boiling bath, I removed them and put them aside to cool. I unscrewed the Eggies apart and was able to pretty easily slide out the hard-boiled eggs. But what slid out was a little unsettling. Sure after tasting them, they tasted just like the hard boiled eggs of my youth BUT ... here lies the problem. They looked DIFFERENT. They didn't have the oval eggs shape I was used to.

They looked like pitted half-assed hard-boiled eggs (SEE PIC).  They just looked ODD. I just couldn't wrap my head around them. They reminded me of white Alien eggs from the movie Aliens!

I decided the Eggies were just too too much work for hard-boiled eggs. And again, they looked pretty odd. I packed up the Eggies and shipped them off the nearest Good Will store. I will use my old trusty egg timer found at a flea market and then deal with the peeling. All that time trying to get Eggies assembled while following directions frankly had me EGG-sausted! HAHAHA! I know, pretty bad right?

A Good Vintage 80s Timer! 

Not to mention, Amazon has a choking hazard out on them stating, "Small parts, not for children under 3 yrs." AND... they get 2.1 stars out of 5! Um, no thank you! I'm sure there are people out their who swear by their Eggies and I say more EGGS for them!  😏

The moral of this story is that sometimes the old-fashioned way of doing things is just as good, if not better as the newfangled product on the market. Sure you have to spend time peeling the eggs but honestly, who wants to clean, spray, assemble and then disassemble 24 parts just for hard-boiled eggs? NOT this guy!! I listened to my Mom in my head saying to me, "See I told you so!"  😲