My Shortest Job: Part One

"Benetton ad from the  80's UGH"

Those who are adults have each had them. I'm talking about those JOBS where we have lasted a week or less! Maybe it was planned, maybe not. We look back and laugh at those times as adults. Maybe we were assholes and deserved to get fired. Or maybe it just wasn't the right fit of a job for us. That being said, I wasn't fired.

That actually happened once at a telemarketing agency. Another blog, another time. LOL Leaving the job at Benetton was MY decision! :) The second time at Sun Coast Video was actually a calculated event which I writing about in the next blog!

I took the job at Benetton while I was at Rutgers University during my freshman year at college. It was 1988 and I went to work for them at their New Brunswick NJ location right next to the official Rutgers Bookstore. I had no retail experience whatsoever and told them that upon my hiring. They said no problem, we'll train you. My first day I was put on the floor. I tried to wear snappy clothes. LOL Something that wouldn't make me look like the big nerd that I was.       

So I began my first shift and was ordered into the backroom. The manager was this twenty something German accented dude named Karl or Klaus or whatever who proceeded to rip me up and down about the clothes that I wore to my first day. Now REALIZE I was a RUTGERS student. I wore a Rutgers sweatshirt to my first day as I had not been given any other directive and DUH!!!! WE WERE ON THE RU CAMPUS! 

Karl or Klaus directed me rather caustically to handle the front. Um.. what was I supposed to do? He stated in rather blunt English, "Handle the customers!" and walked away. OK, that was specific enough. People came in and I welcomed them to Benetton. NOPE apparently I was wrong. 

What's his name rushed up to me and said, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" 

I replied, "Well, I am welcoming them into the store...."

The brusque German stated, "You SHOULD be offering them options for clothing!!!!" 

"OK, I will try harder. Um, it's my first day, remember?"

He turned quickly and marched away without saying anything. It was rather sudden and I was a little taken aback. But I still thought, what an asshole!

I stood there for a second and was thought to myself, OK... and went back to the same thing I was doing except I added, "Sweaters are over there and other stuff is over there," pointing to no-where in particular.

K-MAN came back up to me within 5 five minutes and took me away from people muttering something under his breath like, "This just won't do."  He put me on sweater duty. Now what is sweater duty you may ask? I folded sweaters, big clunky sweaters for the next several hours LIKE 5 HOURS!!!

Sweater folding is all that I did. Just go around the store and if a sweater was out of place or disturbed, I refolded it. At one point I was in the back of the store and everyone was up front and I remember screaming, "I HATE FOLDING SWEATERS!!!" People must've done it before because no one paid me no mind.

Klaus/Karl then took me into the back and said he needed to speak with me. "We need to do something about your clothing. It just horrible and is unacceptable. You need to wear Benetton clothes."
I replied, "OK, give me something to wear and I'll change into it."
Karl/Klaus snickered and said, "NO. We don't give, you buy."
"What??? I can't afford these clothes!? That's why I got a part time job in the first place! I can't afford anything!"
"We will allow you to pay for them over time," he brusquely countered.
"But what am I gonna do? Wear the same pants and sweater for the entire semester until I can afford to pay them off?" I exclaimed.
"Well you certainly cannot wear that," snorted KK gesturing to my Rutgers sweatshirt and acid-washed jeans.
"Are you kidding me?! You know what??? I'm DONE! I hate your crappy clothes. They are scratchy, uncomfortable and I HATE folding your ugly sweaters! I'm outta here!!"

The last thing I heard was Karl/Klaus/KK gasp LOUDLY as if he were shocked that someone FINALLY told his ass off! You would've thought I insulted Mother Teresa. I didn't wait for his reply. I marched right out of that store proudly in my Rutgers sweatshirt and my acid-washed jeans, never looking back.

The next week, I got a job in shipping and packing at the official Rutgers Bookstore next door. I worked for some old gay dude Alan in shipping and receiving who ordered me around left and right. I loved the guy. He was an awesome respectable boss and I never gave him props until now. HE WAS AWESOME. I'll never forget Alan. He was just SO GOOD at his job and I'll say it again, an awesome boss!

Benetton closed within the next couple years due to lack of business. I can't imagine why...