I thought I saw my Departed Friend

"Farmer's Market, Londonderry, Vermont" 

Recently I was walking through an outside city market, enjoying all the sights, sounds and smells of food before me. I love the cacophony and energy of it all. People bustling about, each on their own mission to get what they need. Others simply browsing. 

There were individuals like myself just observing and people watching. And the hardworking vendors, all trying to make an honest days work. Vendors of fruit, vegetables, meats, cheese, coffee, bourbon, beer, and food stalls all co-existing as separate businesses and yet depending on each other for support.


There were so many people. Market days are always so packed, it doesn't matter what city. It could be Philly or DC, could be LA, could be New York! 

I was turning a corner and passed someone who I instantly thought was my recently departed friend Chris. He just passed away in November. Ironically, Chris had been in my thoughts lately. My heart sunk and I stopped in my tracks. My gut felt punched. I reeled around to look at him. It wasn't Chris Dwyer of course but it was just so odd how much he looked like him, same fair Irish skin, same facial features, same wavy hair, the same kindest eyes.


I ran ahead to get in front of the stranger, to finally get a better look. I knew that it wasn't Dwyer. But I just wanted, I needed, to see him again, one last time. I made my way hastily through the vendor aisles dodging shoppers with bags filled of vegetables, fruits, pies, and meats. In and out I veered, on the verge of spinning into customers with their multiple bags of food. 


Coming around another corner abruptly, I ran right into some poor guy, knocking him down. "Oh gosh!" I exclaimed, "I'm so sorry man! Are you OK?"

He was momentarily pissed as I helped him up. I continued to apologize profusely and then realized that I had run into the very man that I was hunting! I had run into Chris's double. I stopped short from saying anything else and just stared at him. 

No... No it wasn't Chris, I thought.


I stammered, "I, I'm, I'm so sorry again, I was just looking for someone."
"That's OK. Don't worry about it. Hope ya find them."
I sighed. "No, sadly I don't think I will."

He looked at me quixotically, mumbled "Ok, later man" and walked away. I watched him walk away and was truly saddened but at least happy for just that split second, I had thought I'd seen my dear friend Dwyer again, and as if it were as a smoke ring, he disappeared into thin air.

Other shoppers had taken over the space of our chance encounter. I was in the way and was shuffled off to the side of the aisle by the crowd, unaware of the wave of sadness I was feeling.

An elderly Asian man asked me if I needed help in his stall. I said no thank you and sighed again, glancing one more time down the aisle in the direction that Chris's look-alike walked and I continued in the opposite way.