Saying Goodbye





"Sunflowers for Cynthia"
 
My good friend is nearing the end of her life.

When it comes time to begin thinking of saying goodbye to a close friend or family member there are so many thoughts and emotions that one goes through. My mind races from the past to the present and back again. I have been through it before, but each time it is just as emotional and difficult, but as it should be.

It should not be easy to say goodbye. It’s not meant to be. For some of us, the good bye will have to be from afar. We are unable to get the time off. Unfortunately more often than not, our employers do not give us off for the bereavement of friends, even if that person has been more like family than one’s own family.

Others cannot handle the visual repercussions of illness, accident or trauma. They cannot bear to see their friends or family member in such a state. And that is OK, there is nothing wrong with that. We are all different and should not be made to feel guilty because we cannot bear the pain to say good bye face to face but instead choose to cherish the good memories that one had with their friend.

Even after losing so so many friends to cancer, illness, HIV, accidents, trauma, and drug overdoses, I still question why. Even as I make my way through my 49th year, I find myself at a loss in trying to comprehend why bad things happen to good people. There was a book which my mother had, written in 1981 by Rabbi Harold Kushner, “When Bad Things Happen to Good People”. I may revisit it to see if I can make sense of this world, see if the advice and wisdom from back then still apply to today.

Why are people taken from us like this? Especially those which have valiantly fought the hard fight. They’ve struggled through cancer and other illness, only to go so quickly. It doesn’t actually matter whether it’s quick or slow, expected or unexpected. It just sucks.  

If anything, it’s times like these which allows one to take stock of their own lives and remember what’s important. You weed out the trivial. You refocus on what’s important. For that I am thankful. It’s times like these which cause me to remember all those good memories with my friend which I haven’t thought about in years. I smile ear to ear thinking of all of the fun times we had.

One of my wise older friends at my local watering hole stated that sometimes the only thing you can say when you can’t figure out why someone is dying is that God is calling them home. Perhaps that’s the best answer right now for my friend coming to the end of her life. God is calling her home. That at least gives me some solace. I wish her peace.

*Pic courtesy of Pixels.com



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