Whatta Week!

The Grand Canyon of Potholes.

Thanks PENNDOT! 

Guess what? I had an incredible crappy week! It just sucked. To start off, it was the anniversary of my Mom's death. I used to say "passing" but why? To save people from uncomfortable feelings? To be polite? I'm just so done with that. She died in 2009. She is dead. And it still fucking sucks. And so here I am. For a good week each year, I suffer and deal with it. 

Life goes on. Yes, it does. I still hurt but I've learned to encapsulate it so the pain doesn't prevent me from moving on. That's the key, right? The pain doesn't go away. We just learn how to deal with it on a day to day basis. I think that's OK. I don't ever wanna get over the pain. 

I was supposed to go to Maine this weekend and that got screwed up. A car failed to see I was in their blind spot and moved over into my lane on an extremely busy highway. I in turn, drove over the white fog line in a defensive measure and crashed over a pothole 3 feet long by 1 feet wide by 8 inches deep. It was the size of a friggin' cinder block! CRAAAZY. 

The resulting crash over it destroyed two tires and both rims. My teeth literally jarred in my head. Thank God I maintained control and remained on the road. This Grand Canyon of a pothole was on the shoulder of a bridge with a 30 feet drop below. I shudder at what could have happened.

Long story short, AAA auto service came quickly and I got towed to my local garage. They were so nice, genuine and helpful. They made it seem like I was the only stop of their day and it helped a great deal to get me through an effed up evening. The car repairs totaled $2600.00. The majority was paid for by insurance and I was lucky.  A good friend at the local garage serviced my car and fixed it up right. I am very thankful. The financial cost was still pretty high for this middle class guy but I will get through it. 

The sucky part was that I had to be an adult and cancel the Maine trip. I had looked forward to it for months! But unfortunately, being an adult took over. I emphatically state that ADULTING SUCKS. Even with my deductible for the accident, going to Maine at this point was financially imprudent. 

My writing weekend in Maine was canceled and I was upset and angry. Well that lasted a three days and I realized that I needed to get over it and nonetheless have much to be thankful for. Maine isn't gonna drop off into the ocean like California (Sorry bro Adam LOL). Maine will be there in June, October and November when I go back up. 

I am now determined more than ever to write over this long weekend while at home. And here I write and honestly I am very lucky. I can write anywhere! Maine, lobster, and moose will still be there. 

And on the flip side, it was my runt of an old lady kitty, Miss Moxie's 15th birthday. She is here, this feline lil old lady and I'm here for her. Sometimes, things don't work out but other times, they do work out just as they're supposed to.  Takes a bit of time to realize that though. Bits of annoyance and anger fester on the edges of my being. Ha ha! ;) 

Miss Moxie, the Legend!

Friends were great this week. My core 4 and my family came through with flying colors. They were all just a big help in listening to me, dealing with my issues, setting me straight, and helping me realize how blessed I am. Disappointment is a big part of being an adult. But chaos also rules. You can plan plan plan and out of no where, a curve ball comes and effs everything up. 

On the bright side, the daffodils and hyacinths are up. I smell Spring finally! And Happy Birthday Miss Moxie! 😻💖

UPDATE: 

A close friend gave me her perspective on what happened. She felt that "your mom did not want you to go to Maine… Something clearly was going to happen that wasn't good… And she stopped you from going there to prevent something bad from happening."

I've always said that I felt that my mother was my guardian angel on that crazy highway. Perhaps she did intervene to prevent me from going to Maine at this point. I'm going to believe that. 🥰♥️