Focused at Fifty

This evening, I stopped by my neighbor Charlotte's house to talk with her a moment. It wasn't important, just a chat between neighbors. I came to her back door and she beckoned me to "Come in, come in, COME IN! You don't have to knock, just come in! COME ON IN!" "OK OK!" I exclaimed laughing. She was standing there in her kitchen, all 5'3" 90 pounds of her, making mini lasagnas at the table. Charlotte is my 76 year old divorcee' neighbor. She absolutely loves cooking and is great at it. Charlotte also likes gardening, her wine, and BBC's (Banana liquer, Bailey's, and Coco-lopez). John and I joke that Charlotte must think we do not know how to cook because she is always bringing us food. But we love her for that and certainly don't mind. After we had chatted, I made my exit. It was a long day and I just wanted to change out of work clothes, make myself a martini, and relax before dinner. I didn't know what I was going t...

First example: The week before I got my new car, I was still driving around my trusty red rocket Saturn wagon and stopped for some gas. While filing up, I spied the car on the other side of the the pump. It was a beautiful royal blue Toyota Camry, just like I was about to get, except mine would be gun metal grey. The lady pumping gas just reeked high glass: hair up in a tight bun, designer shades, designer suit, pearls, high heels. She glanced over at me and smiled. "Hi, how ya doing?" I said back, "I'm fine," she stated nicely but cooly. "I'm getting the same car, I'm so excited," I gushed. "Really? I just love it. It drives so smooth. And I love how it looks," she replied, now warming up to me. "Yeah, I can't wait to get rid of this old Saturn and finally get a new car. Toyota Camrys are so reliable!" "Camry?!" she exclaimed, her eyes turning to evil fire and brimstone. "THIS ISN'T A CAMRY! ...

I came across this last night in my files. My sister sent this to me in 1999 and it still rings true today. This is for my Philly friends. I don't know who wrote it but enjoy! TOP 20 SIGNS YOU'RE FROM PHILADELPHIA 20. You realize that your favorite dessert is wooder ice. It comes in churry, strawburry, and other assawrded flaverz. 19. You find yourself using "Yo" and "Youse guyz" when talking long distance to family members. (I still do this!) 18. You know how to spell Schuylkill. 17. You think $2500 a year for insurance on a 1977 Toyota Corolla is a bargain. 16. You find yourself at a nice restaurant thinking, "I wonder if they have cheese steaks?" (Brother Adam, this is for you!) 15. You can sleep soundly through gunfire and ambulance sirens. (I stay overnight at my sister Sheryl's and this happens. She sleeps through it while I am up the rest of the night!) 14. You visit New York and are impressed by how clean it is. 13. Double p...

I have a Nazareth College baseball cap that John gave me. It used to be his. I wear it from time to time. I also just found out today that the college is outside of Rochester, New York. I was in Wegmans food shopping this afternoon and some college guy comes up to me and asks all excitedly, "Hey bud, who do you know that goes to Nazareth College?!" "Jesus," I said flatly in a southern accent. He just stared at me for a moment, shook his head and walked away deflated.

I was at a coffee shop the other day ordering a cup of coffee. The young 20 something girl at the register asked me my name so she could write it on the slip. I am always half tempted to say something groaningly funny such as “Bud Weiser” but I restrained myself and simply said, “Marc." I waited patiently for my cup of coffee and spied my ticket on the counter. Buffy, the register girl, had written “Lark.” Yes, “Lark” as in the bird. I was a little shocked and annoyed. How can you get Lark from Marc??? Didn’t she hear me? I think that I speak clearly. I often have people spell my name with a K when it is spelled with a C. My last name seems to confound people too. It is spelled Haynes. I often get Haines, Hayne, Hanes, Hayes. The list goes on. Maybe Buffy didn’t hear me. I looked over at her. She was happily going about her day answering questions and taking orders. Maybe she was a lip reader? She didn’t seem like she had a hearing problem. I would hope that she wasn...

This week, John and I were lucky enough to have my brother Adam, his wife Teresa, my niece Angelica, and nephew Johnny visit us. I went crazy cleaning the house the week prior. Teresa evening called 2 hours early saying they would be there within the hour and I went into panic mode! John calmed me down and I just did the essentials and even got almost everything done by the time they arrived. What I did not get done, I turned down the lights or covered with a throw blanket! Mom would have been proud as at least the bathrooms were clean, the kitchen was clean, and there was fresh towels in the bathrooms and fresh linens in the bedrooms! We spend the long weekend reminiscing. Friday night was spent at sister Sheryl's for Passover dinner. She put on a great feast. She is truly the gourmet of the family. We did a traditional (speeded up version for us reformed Jews) Passover Seder. I was the Leader and Johnny asked the traditional Passover questions. It was the first time in over 20 ...

At Gateway Regional High School, I used to run cross country in the Fall. In the winter, I ran indoor track with the same group of people. In the Spring, it was spring track with the same motley crew. The work outs were grueling to say the least and cross country was the toughest. In cross country, we used to run up to 13 miles a day. By comparison, winter track practice was actually fun. I like spring track too, but sometimes the heat was G-d awful. Anyway, with indoor track, for those of you that didn't know, it takes place during the winter, LOL. We would work out in the back quiet section of the high school, running up and down the hallways or up and down the stairs, like 20 times in a row. We would also run these killer sprints called "suicide sprints" which involved running back and forth, turning 'round on a dime at the end of the hallway, sometimes feeling like your ankles were going to blow out. The winter track meets were run on an small indoor rubber tr...