Please Return Borrowed Items

We have all been guilty of not returning things at one time or another. Why is it that this becomes particularly bothersome as we get older? Maybe it's just about common courtesy that our society seems to be lacking more and more these days.  I am not complaining about those items maybe you forgot to get back to me after a couple weeks. We are talking months here … years even!  To celebrate my general annoyance over people not returning borrowed items, I offer the following essay. I am going to say what all of you have all been thinking.

To my exgirlfriend in college whom I lent the sweatshirt to with my fraternity letters:  After we broke up, you never gave me my 'letters' back even after I repeatedly requested them. After finding you on Facebook last year, it seems that some of us peaked early. I'm just sayin'…

To my club-going friend whom I lent that dance mix CD waaay back in 1998 when we both worked at the Ritz-Carlton:  Isn't it ironic that you severely twisted your ankle from dancing the week after I reminded you that you still had my mix CD?  And to top it off, you still never gave it back to me.

To the person whom I lent the book "Traveling Colorful Mexico":  I hope you got Montezuma's Revenge when you finally took that trip. You can keep the book now.

To my friend whom I lent Frommers "500 Places You Should Visit Before They Disappear":  Let's be real, you will never go to the Colca Valley in Peru or see the Windmills of Kinderdijk in Holland. You get nervous leaving Pennyslvania. Please give me my book back. I would like to think that one day I may go to these places. OK we know I won't, but at least I have been to Tijuana and Montreal.

To the person who came to my Holiday Open House whom I sent home with baked goods in that good Tupperware.  It is proper to at least ask if I want the Tupperware back. It wasn't just a supermarket deli container! Please don't assume it is yours to keep. It makes an ass out of you … oh you get the drift.

To that person whom I lent that movie to:  You said you would watch it in a week and return it. Well it's been a month and a half. I will come looking for it at the end of March. You are lucky I don't charge late fees like the old Blockbuster (may they rest in peace.) 

Yes this is a bit harsh. But is it really?  It is annoying when people don't return items you have lent out. I am not the lending library. This is loaning and borrowing between friends. I understand about being forgetful in some circumstances but in a lot of them, it is just discourteous behavior. If there is an apology along with the item, I will, 9 times out of 10, accept it and be done with it. Unfortunately though,  it has made me think twice about loaning items out.

Oh and by the way, if I you lent me something and I haven't given it back to you, please let me know. In that case, it is just an oversight on my part. I do lead a busy life. :)