Wisdom from a Frazzled 44 Year Old

"Waiter, there's a fly in my glass, no there really is!"

I am turning 44 today. Multiply that by two, you get 88. When I turned 40, I figured I was at the halfway point of life til 80. I think 88 is one of the last reasonable ages I could live to, so technically I am at or over that halfway mark. Getting older is an eye opening experience as you realize that time is limited. So G-d damnit, you might as well start enjoying things while you are here and start having some fun!

Getting older also means taking care of yourself. When we were younger, it seemed that most of us worked out to look good. We felt invincible, immortal. As you get older, health issues crop up. So these days, working out to be healthy is just as important as looking good. And a shit load of eye creams help to.

Remember when we used to think how strange it was when our parents were in their 40's? I thought they were so ... OLD (shudder). And here I am, 44.  Little did I know that I would be so satisfied at this age. You develop a sense of calm. No more 20 or 30 something drama. No offense to to my younger friends but things seem to be clearer the older you get.

I would love to look younger but I have earned each of these grey hairs and battle scars. They represent the wisdom gained. Give me younger looks but I never wanna be a 20 year old kid again.  I wish there were a pill for the looks of a 20 year old coupled with the wisdom of a 40 year old. That would be just perfect.

I thought this week about what advice I would want to pass on to others as I enter my mid 40's. Not to bore you but I hope you find some of it enlightening. Here are some of the things I have learned and practice in no particular order:

Find a couple of people that you can really laugh with and laugh often. And screw those so called laugh lines. Those are wrinkles that I want.  One of my proudest feats is that I can make my sister laugh so hard she runs for the bathroom and I am proud of that.  (Sorry big sis, LOL.)

"So, as I was saying ..."

Invest in family and close friends.  That's where it's at, kids.

Learn about your family history, it's fascinating.

Try to find someone special to spend your life with. It makes it so much more worthwhile.

Try new things: sports, food, drink, just different experiences each week!  I know it is so cliche' but "Get out and live a little!"

Take funny photos of yourself.

Don't sweat the small stuff. Another cliche' saying I used to loathe but it is so true. Someone running late doesn't ruin the evening. If you overcook the brownies, move on. "Put the lawn off until tomorrow. Enjoy life today." -Abby Deeds (my mother)

Dance and sing. Even if you are horrible at both. I am awesome at ONE of them.  Just sayin'.

Be self-deprecating and be able to laugh at yourself.  HELLO?  Have you read my embarrassing blogs?

Don't take yourself seriously.  I am a goofball through and through. It keeps me young.  I am (THANK G-D) still getting told I look in my mid thirties. I will take it!  I will take looking 39!

See the world, or at least your state or country. I am still amazed that I meet people who have not traveled outside of their hometown or county.   There is just so much of the world to see.

Asking directions.

Tell your siblings, your parents, your kids, your spouse or significant other, and your friends that you love them often.  It's not creepy. Trust me. They need to hear it.

Focus on fostering close friendships with a couple of friends rather than trying to be close friends with everyone. I am finally learning this.  Although I love all of you!! ... (read my blog)

Pay good deeds forward, practice mitzvahs. Google it my Gentile friends.

Find G-d or a higher power to help give you strength.

Follow your dreams.

Everything in moderation ... except smoking. You need to stop that ... NOW.

Read often, I don't care what:  magazines, books, journals, Penthouse Forum. Just make sure you exercise that MENTAL muscle.

Get a pet. It will reduce stress

Get a plant and try and keep it alive. It will reduce stress.  (My sister found bamboo finally. She can't kill it.)

Get a signature drink, it will reduce stress.  I love a good gin and tonic.

Saving shopping malls with a friend, one retail shop at a time.

Stand up for yourself and what you  believe in.

Enjoy nature, the arts, museums, food, drink, live music, and sex ... or at least 6 out of the 7, your choice.

Get a hobby and I don't mean basket-weaving.

Enjoy old movies and listen to the music you grew up with.  It will take you back and smile.

Now growing older does not mean you outgrow bad habits. I know I am snarky and sarcastic. I know I talk loud. I know I sometimes interrupt. I sometimes think I am hilarious and then realize I am not. I tend to monopolize conversations. I am overly moody. I AM trying to get a handle of these bad habits and think I will have each of them under control by the time I reach 88.