Daffodils Fade, Grieving Does Not

"Spring Flowers"

Now is the time of year when my daffodils fade in the yard. It is a sad time, garden-wise. Nothing one can't get through but it shows the cycle of the yard, the garden, where one plant blooms and they eventually wither and another blooms in its place. Continuing all the way through the Spring and Summer until we see the eventual late summer blooms of the August goldenrod or the hydrangea. I do admit that just writing about the goldenrod makes me want to sneeze.

It is beautiful though, the transition from the late March crocuses to the late blooming flower of the Summer. We do not know exactly when how long they will last but know the approximates. Crocuses, hyacinths, forsythias and daffodils first. And then the other flowers bloom continuing until August and some until Fall, such as the favorite mums. The difference between us and the flowers is that we know we can expect these flowers next year.

Sad is the time when our friends, neighbors, and close family members pass. It hurts me to the core seeing close friends and family suffer from their losses. I try and figure out words. Me, who has no difficulty making conversation with a monk or nun of celibacy, finally finds himself at a loss of words.

With a friend or family member in need, a hug is in order. They try and release. I persist. This is different. No, just one more second. A longer hug. They get it. They hold on and squeeze harder for the support.

It continues, the cycle of life and upsetting death. But it is fresh and horrible and different for each of us. We cannot impose our timelines of grief on others. Let them grieve. Let them grieve in their own way. My heart breaks so much. I learn that the most important and helpful statement is being silent and letting them speak. Agreeing and then offering support.

Don't try and give advice. Those grieving will most likely not want to hear it. Just offer support. Don't sympathize, EMPATHIZE. There is a major difference. The daffodils will be back. Our friends and family members pass on but with hope and love, their memories remain strong and persistent and reliable as the returning spring flower.

We recognize that their passing is the reason we grieve. We grieve for ourselves. We grieve for them. We grieve for the fact they will no longer be able to be apart of our lives. We grieve that they were taken too fast, too quickly, too soon.

Sometimes giving that extended hug goes a lot further than trying to make sense of it all. Just hug and show compassion.