Focused at Fifty

It was Winston Churchill who so eloquently stated, “If you are going through hell, keep going.” We all have them, those emotional rough patches. They can be triggered by family, relationships, friends, work, physical issues, or finances. I’m sure you can come up with other triggers as well. It’s those times in life which become so overwhelming you are at a loss of what to do. I recently hit a rough patch which effected many areas of my life including work and friends. My rough patch was triggered by these two subjects. And so goes the merry-go-round of emotions, each making the other worse by exacerbating my existing issues. As I stare out of my 3 rd floor office window (and yes, I write over my lunch while at work), I gaze out at beyond the Allentown skyline at the Blue Mountain range stretching from as far West as I can see to as far East as I can see.  What is beyond that view? I cannot see it but I know it is there. For me right here right now, it is hidden f...

"My Commuting Buddy"  I was commuting the other day on Route 78 by Lehigh Street in Allentown and passed an senior citizen driving along in his little colorful car. He looked to be in his upper 70's early 80s and was still working. How do I know? Because he was driving a colorful little auto parts store, bright green, yellow with writing in orange. My commuting buddy looked exactly like that cartoon character old man in the movie where his house was lifted up by a huge mass of balloons. EXACTLY like him. Rather comical. Anyway, I passed the old guy and smiled. He was focused so intently on driving. Good for him! The next week, perhaps Monday after work, I stopped at the Wawa on Lehigh Street for gas and who pulled up to the pump behind me was the my favorite colorful senior citizen commuter! I looked over and nodded to him. He nodded back in greeting. A couple days later, I was driving on Martin Luther King Dr, crossing Oxford Drive and my little old friend passed...

"Burden"  I feel crushed as the weight of this world pins me down. It rests fully upon me, Upon my body and my tired soul. I stare up at the wispy clouds overhead, my breath labored. The clouds are floating freely, so light, Changing their shape ever so slowly, So angelic, filled with colors unseen. Why can't I change my shape, my attitude, my mindset As these clouds do along their journey? Sometimes I don't know, how will I continue. Whether it's the burden of past decisions which forces me down Or the burden of past ways which have hurt others. My cross to bear, my rock to push up the hill, My Earth resting so precariously on my shoulders. A hand reaches downward from the Heavens, lifts me up. My guardian angel caresses my face, wiping away that salty tear. I am here to help, to give you strength. My son! We all bear those crosses, of different shapes and sizes. You are not the young man of your twenties. You are not the n...

I climb the mountain until my hands are scraped, bloodied. I wander through the forest until I find a clearing, weary from exhaustion. I get swept out to the dark sea by oppressive waves, My arms outstretched towards the fading light as I sink deeper in the abyss. Do you see how I've grown? Do you see I've suffered along the way? I am afraid of not when the sun sets but when the dawn breaks. The new morning's light may bring me that fearful clarity Which could ultimately destroy our fortress. I wonder when calm will come to the thunder raging inside. My soul yearns for comfort, for serenity, but at what cost ... Thunderclaps shatter the glass around me Piercing me to my core, my shield not yet strong enough. I fear these torrential rains mean the sun won't shine And if I have to, I will sit in these rains alone, waiting for them to end. I will wait for that light to warm my soul once again, That summer light which warms me deep inside. The light wil...

"The Break-up" Blogger's note: Names have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals mentioned. Why is it that when a couple breaks up, more often that not mutual friends and family become relationship collateral damage? Obviously, it is in our very nature to side with those we are closest with. This rarely talked about part of the breaking up affects the closest friends and family members. Unfortunately this part of it seems to be a constant and very difficult to overcome. When a break-up occurs, who do you go with?  We as friends and family also suffer. One strives to remain neutral but it can get very awkward dancing the dance between the former couple. It just may not be possible to remain friends with both. You subtly realize who your allegiance is to and to whom your loyalty lies. One tries to remain Switzerland but sometimes it just is not possible. And then suddenly you find that you've chosen or have to choose. If you are striving to remai...

"Farmer's Market, Londonderry, Vermont"  Recently I was walking through an outside city market, enjoying all the sights, sounds and smells of food before me. I love the cacophony and energy of it all. People bustling about, each on their own mission to get what they need. Others simply browsing.  There were individuals like myself just observing and people watching. And the hardworking vendors, all trying to make an honest days work. Vendors of fruit, vegetables, meats, cheese, coffee, bourbon, beer, and food stalls all co-existing as separate businesses and yet depending on each other for support. There were so many people. Market days are always so packed, it doesn't matter what city. It could be Philly or DC, could be LA, could be New York!  I was turning a corner and passed someone who I instantly thought was my recently departed friend Chris. He just passed away in November. Ironically, Chris had been in my thoughts lately. My heart sunk and I stopped...

"Max at Night" Last night around 3 am, I was awoken by a rustling beneath my window. Now I love the Spring as I can now sleep with my windows open but that also invites those outside nighttime sounds in. Whatever it was, it was clicking and scratching beneath the white rhododendron bush. I looked outside, seeing nothing but fog consuming the houses down my street. More digging and clicking which prompted Max the Cat to leap from his cat bed to my bed to the window sill in two large bounds. Max responded by chittering away. All I heard was chittering and clicking for the next couple minutes. I eventually fell asleep again. Time passed, it may have been a couple minutes, or maybe an hour. I stirred awake and noticed Max still sitting on the windowsill staring outside. I whispered to him, knowing he wouldn’t listen, Come to bed Max, stop being such a night owl. He glanced in my direction, acknowledging me, and then went back to his pensive stare out the window. ...