Focused at Fifty

I turned 42 this past week and have been reflective on my past year, looking back at what I have or have not accomplished. I seem to dwell more on what I have not accomplished. Others have said, “No you are crazy, look what you have done!” I don’t know, I think we will always be harder on ourselves. I am very happy with the progress of this blog. I have had people come up to me or email me that I don’t even know and comment on posts which they have read. First, I am still shocked that anyone reads it! Second, it gives me pride, and then immense humility that people would take the time to read and comment on what I write about. I enjoy the comments and critiques and am an open to what has been said to me on how to improve my writing. In January 2012, I took over as bar manager of the Lake Wynonah Lodge. It has been fun but moderately stressful. I don’t think I correctly estimated the amount of time involved in this volunteer position! I also bartend there for some extra cash. ...

I was relaxing on the deck with John this evening after grilling a nice steak. We were just letting our food settle and watching the occasional car go by on our road when we heard a familiar chirping in the air. I looked up and saw to two little brown bats dancing through the dusk air above our heads! Soon after, a third swooped around the deck off into the darkening yard hunting for insects. All three were chirping as they flew by. I was happy. I had not seen them yet this spring and was wondering if they would be returning to our yard. Our street heads up and down a hill with houses and large trees on either side. At the bottom of the hill is Fawn Lake. At the top, where we are, is our large yard which serves as the bats "turn around" area. They go up and down the hill and then do figure eights in our yard ... or as I have called it, Bat Land. I am sure there are more than three, but that is all I saw this evening. I am just happy they are back. Bats unfortunately h...

Most of you know that I took classical piano lessons for 10 years. My mom had taken lessons and played when she was growing up and she wanted one of her children to take it up. Sheryl played the flute and Adam played the clarinet. The responsibility of playing the piano was handed down to me. It was something my mother wanted and I really liked it so I gladly obliged. I was no prodigy by any means, but I did well at the piano. It was something that came naturally to me. I never performed before an audience other than close friends and family, and that was good enough for me. I had no desire to play on stage. When I was in my preteen years, I was taking lessons every week with Mrs. Sellen, the wife of our school's music teacher. I was a typical kid and hated practicing. I practiced just enough that Mrs. Sellen would advance me to other more difficult pieces for the next week.. One specific memory which has haunted me throughout these years involved Mom and the piano. Please indu...

Good day my fellow readers! These past couple weeks have been absolutely horrible for me. I really do not wish to go into detail at this point but just to say that I appreciate the notes of concern I received from several of you wondering what was up. I had become depressed and the only thing I wanted to do when I got home was sleep. Facebook didn't interest me, writing stopped. All side projects at home stopped. I have really been a sad mess. You think you have everything under control and then an aspect of your life seems to blow up in your face. Well luckily, I am getting through it and taking steps to better myself ... long term. Life is too short to spend it unhappy. I am making changes to move on from that which stresses me out. Sorry for the cryptic overtones, I just don't want to jinx anything which may or may not happen. LOL. I also think alot of it has to do with the period of the year. Mom passed on April 10, 2009 and the following month through Mother's...

I have blogged about my love of music before and how it stirs our memories and emotions: http://www.frazzledatforty.blogspot.com/2011/12/perfect-song-for-mood.html It was about how music brings you back to that certain time, or memory. For instance, I hear a certain song that my mother listened to and I am instantly taken back to my memories of Mom putting on the album on the record player in the dining room. Smelling the smells of my house from the 70's, the food, my Mother's perfume, my Dad's cigars. Feelings of happiness and contentment accompany my memories. Music does that to you. It awakens your spirit and allows you to relive those past times. Music has also been seen as a type of therapy. A number of websites and studies foster the belief that it enhances healing and promotes well being. One only has to experience the feel good emotions that a certain song can give you. A good friend of mine, Dawn, posted this video on Facebook and I had to repost it on my...

This evening, I stopped by my neighbor Charlotte's house to talk with her a moment. It wasn't important, just a chat between neighbors. I came to her back door and she beckoned me to "Come in, come in, COME IN! You don't have to knock, just come in! COME ON IN!" "OK OK!" I exclaimed laughing. She was standing there in her kitchen, all 5'3" 90 pounds of her, making mini lasagnas at the table. Charlotte is my 76 year old divorcee' neighbor. She absolutely loves cooking and is great at it. Charlotte also likes gardening, her wine, and BBC's (Banana liquer, Bailey's, and Coco-lopez). John and I joke that Charlotte must think we do not know how to cook because she is always bringing us food. But we love her for that and certainly don't mind. After we had chatted, I made my exit. It was a long day and I just wanted to change out of work clothes, make myself a martini, and relax before dinner. I didn't know what I was going t...

First example: The week before I got my new car, I was still driving around my trusty red rocket Saturn wagon and stopped for some gas. While filing up, I spied the car on the other side of the the pump. It was a beautiful royal blue Toyota Camry, just like I was about to get, except mine would be gun metal grey. The lady pumping gas just reeked high glass: hair up in a tight bun, designer shades, designer suit, pearls, high heels. She glanced over at me and smiled. "Hi, how ya doing?" I said back, "I'm fine," she stated nicely but cooly. "I'm getting the same car, I'm so excited," I gushed. "Really? I just love it. It drives so smooth. And I love how it looks," she replied, now warming up to me. "Yeah, I can't wait to get rid of this old Saturn and finally get a new car. Toyota Camrys are so reliable!" "Camry?!" she exclaimed, her eyes turning to evil fire and brimstone. "THIS ISN'T A CAMRY! ...