Focused at Fifty

Last week, I was shopping in a consignment store and was drawn over to the tie rack. Was that it? Was that the tie? My heart felt like it stopped momentarily. It was slender, cloth, very "Mod", late 50's/early 60's. I looked at it closer and deeply sighed, "Nope, wrong color." I would have to still keep looking. After all, I've been looking for the last 3 decades. What's another year? Unfortunately, no it was not THE tie. The tie I am looking for was very special. It was my Grandpop Herman Newman's tie. I remember I came across it in a box of stuff that my Mom was giving away. I asked if I could have it because it was his and without a seconds thought she replied of course! I kept it for years, hanging it in a special place on the tie rack for those ties. There are my favorite ties from the early 90s when I would go dancing with Sheryl at clubs across Philly. There are two ties from the 80s which were my Dad/s. There is a dophin tie my stepdad Ba...

 

 

I often feel sorry and guilty for relegating certain ornaments to the back of the Christmas tree just so that the tree is not lopsided. You know those ornaments. Not the most favorite anymore. The older ones. Or the broken ones. The poor Mouseketeer who lost one of his hands and his sword in battle, probably with one of our two cats. 😂 Oh Sir Squeak-a-lot, you have served us well and we will keep you... Guard the back of the tree well my loyal mouse-knight. ❤️

"Baxter State Park, Maine" What shall be my third act? Or what shall it become? Sure, one can guide one's life, but you never truly know what will happen. I had so many plans 3 plus decades ago. Most of which never came to fruition. One may think it's frivolous and a waste of time to try and figure out what I am going to do for the next 2-3 decades but you can still guide your life in a direction which brings you love, good friendship, integrity, respect and satisfaction.  You all know me, I'm just being my normal perhaps overly reflective self. 😏 My first act was childhood, school and my 20s. I lived my second act through my 30s and 40s. The third act will hopefully include Maine and making plans with the Big Ragu for the next two decades. Who knows after that? I do know that I want to become empowered with the decades that I have left.  Forgive me for the overtones of one's mortality. You notice I have not called it my FINAL act. And there may perhaps be a ...

  Happy 90th Birthday to my wonderful Dad whose birthday was on Sept. 23rd, 2020! He is simply my hero, my mentor, my best friend, my inspiration, and my role model! I am in awe of you Dad! Love you! ♥️🥰😏

"Heather and I. She's drinking a Blue Moon. LOL" Last Saturday, I was asked, along with good friends Jamie and Miss Morag, to pay my respects and speak at the memorial service of my dear friend Heather Boyer. She had recently passed away after a valiant fight with a rare brain disease. Heather knew she wanted to battle this disease, if only for the very reason of helping to advance the treatment and understanding of it to hopefully prevent others from suffering from it in the future. She lost her battle but she made such an incredible impression of bravery and courageousness on her friends and family. Being asked to speak at a dear friend's service is one of the most honorable and humbling requests of service that one can be asked of. I did it without a second's thought. It was a sad day. It was one of laughter and tears, as it should be. Her husband and children were so strong. God bless them.  Many of you have asked me to reprint my eulogy so I am obliged to do ...

"Tailored Fit? Not for us mmmLarges!" It has been a crazy several months, hasn't it? As I stated last month, I have gone through my share of ups and downs. After discussing it with people, I realize that a lot of us are in the same place. We feel like we are in a low point in their lives. How are we dealing with it? How can we can out of it? Commiseration definitely helps. So does some humor.  First things first, I am looking at a website and wanted more info emailed to me. To prove you are not a robot, you have to go through a security test of picking those pictures with cars, boats, stop signs, traffic lists etc. Know these? Yeah, it seems pretty easy but NOT. Am I the online one with has trouble with this stupid test? I see something sticking out from the boat and think, should I include that? Is it going into another picture block? In fact is that EVEN a boat? After further observation, I conclude that it is in fact NOT a boat and is a car carrier loaded with 4-door s...

"Peace in the Green Mountains of Vermont" Hello my good friends and readers! I have been lax in writing and just haven't been inspired as of late. In a mood and just blocked. I would get triggered by a topic and then get bored by it. I know I needed to get something out so I decided to give a few ramblings and musings of this last month. It's been kind of sucky.  Now listen, I know I am usually pretty happy go lucky. I like to think my glass is half full. I look for the positive in life and try and stay upbeat. I don't know what hit me but it sure clobbered me this month. My mood just started spiraling downwards. I think honestly, everything happening with COVID-19 just started getting to me. This sense of foreboding hopelessness.  And sometimes, we like to wallow in our self pity and moodiness. I certainly did. I just wanna recognize it though, confront it. Even the most positive of people have their down times. I am included in this. The one day I put up somethi...

"2017 Trinidad, California: Marc, Sheryl, Adam & Dad" As my Dad approaches 90 in September, I have come to lovingly refer to him as seasoned. He gets a kick out of it and laughs every time I tell him that. His hearty laugh is the same as the first time versus the 8th time. I do try and make him laugh. It brings me great joy.  I enjoy our talks and as I've gotten older, I am aware of the nuances in the conversation:  when it's going good we talk for awhile, or when Dad wants to get off and mow the yard, or when he is watching the Golden State Warriors and wants to get off quick to get back to the game!  When I called him this year on Father's Day, we spoke about my recent morning at Cigars International. I had enjoyed a spicy Bloody Mary made with bacon vodka and a Blue Cohiba Robusto  cigar. I like my Bloody Mary's spicy and my cigars mild to medium. It was a good combo which I would have again.  I recounted how I used to smoke Backwoods ci...

Driving to meet the Big Ragu for a late evening beer on a beautiful Schuylkill County night. I roll down the windows, open the sunroof, favorite song playing 🥰. I can smell the impending thunderstorm. Ahhhhhh. I pass something quiçkly on the side of the road and dead deer smell engulfs the car. I start gagging and dry heaving all the way to the bar. Gotta love Skook County! 🙄😂😂😂

"Cheers to Focused at Fifty!" SO. Here was are and here we go again!  I'm on to a NEW DECADE. I am still living by the glass half full mantra. I am still the positive GOOFY happy-go-lucky guy you know. What has changed? Why the name change on the blog? Didn't I say I was GOOFY? I'm really a Pluto fan 💖. LOL But I'll still be Goofy. But now I am also "Focused at Fifty"! It was a tough decision. When I began this as "Frazzled at Forty", I truly was, but now that moniker, identity, and brand just doesn't fit me anymore. After countless hours of therapy (thank God for co-pays!) and just figuring myself the fuck out, I may still have my frazzled moments but I am not longer the epitome of "Frazzled at Forty". As we all do, I have evolved.  I cannot believe that I have had this blog for 10 plus years. It has been a wonderful journey. Yes, I do look back at what I've wrote before, and sometimes cringe. LOL. All good...

"MORTADELLA!" For my last post for my 49th year and my last post for this blog under the Frazzled at 40 blog title, I will be writing about a new food which I tried during this now SEMI-quarantine isolation phase of my life! I again decided to try something that I went ICK over just because of the name and the look: Mortadella. SMELL! I always knew mortadella was some sort of Italian cured meat. It has white, black, and green spots in it. That's all I knew. As well as the name, which in my grammatically challenged college "D" grade receiving Italian translates to "died of" (Morta Della?).  I pledged my fraternity that semester. LOL.  Well  now I know why I received an A in college beer chugging and a D in Italian. Although ... sidebar, I got an A in Italian cinema watching Fellini movies at 7pm on a Friday night class. I think that's because we snuck in cases of beer with my fraternity bros!  My apologies for I digress; back to t...

One of my favorite amusements during these crazy times has been trying out new foods which I normally would not try. These are various vegetables, fruits and meats which I spy in a supermarket and think to myself, ya know what? I’ve never tried that. Let’s give it a go! I won’t spend hundreds of bucks but if something is within my budget, I’ll give it a go! So bring on the breadfruit, bring on the ugly tomatoes, bring on the sea urchin, bring on the kangaroo! I’ll try ‘em all! Umm… maybe not the kangaroo! Kangaroo is expensive! Haha, I bet you though I’d say the sea urchin! I actually like sea urchin. Uni , as it is known, is one of my favorite sushi. It has a light sweet flavor. It is not for the faint of heart but if you ever try it, you may be pleasantly surprised! I was at a local food store called Bill’s Produce in Schuylkill Haven, PA. It’s known for its cheap affordable produce as well as friendly staff. I spied a small long green pepper which I’ve seen before but nev...

"Chippy" As I approach my 50th birthday during the Co-vid pandemic, my thoughts turn to how I have changed during this time. There are obvious changes such as my gut. LOL And then subtler changes such as an appreciation for the annual greening of the landscape during the Spring.  Some things are rather blunt such as:  I have enjoyed not seeing certain people. I absolutely miss seeing a lot of people I am close friends with.  I have enjoyed not having to hunt for my work ID. I have enjoyed not having to commute an hour each way. My 50th birthday is not what I thought it would be. LOL  I am extremely lucky and there are so many people who have it waaay more difficult than I.  I found out that Nala is a favorite dog name and it comes from the movie the Lion King. At least three friends have dogs named Nala and I still have yet to see the movie. LOL  Did I mention the beer belly?  I have realized that the idea of "celebrity, rich and fa...

"Spring Flowers" Now is the time of year when my daffodils fade in the yard. It is a sad time, garden-wise. Nothing one can't get through but it shows the cycle of the yard, the garden, where one plant blooms and they eventually wither and another blooms in its place. Continuing all the way through the Spring and Summer until we see the eventual late summer blooms of the August goldenrod or the hydrangea. I do admit that just writing about the goldenrod makes me want to sneeze. It is beautiful though, the transition from the late March crocuses to the late blooming flower of the Summer. We do not know exactly when how long they will last but know the approximates. Crocuses, hyacinths, forsythias and daffodils first. And then the other flowers bloom continuing until August and some until Fall, such as the favorite mums. The difference between us and the flowers is that we know we can expect these flowers next year. Sad is the time when our friends, neighbors, and...

"Emergency Preparedness"  With our world in the midst of a pandemic and the vast majority of us still under quarantine, I thought it would be useful to go over some basic emergency preparedness guidelines, and more specifically, what we should have in our disaster supply kits.  I began thinking of this a week or two ago and began rummaging through my files for my emergency lists. The info which I am going to supply you with info from a couple of sources: Montgomery County Department of Public Safety and FEMA. It is a minimum of what we should all have but I would definitely encourage you to do more to prepare for a disaster.  The coronavirus pandemic suggests we have 14 days worth of supplies. Maybe that should be the new norm with many of the items below, as opposed to 3 days? Nevertheless, where it stated 3 days in the lists, I kept it at 3 days. Myself, I will end up having 14 days of supplies on hand as a minimum for the months going forwards.  Who...

Ready to eat, YUM!!!  Several  pre-quarantine  weeks ago, the Big Ragu and I won a frozen pack of cod filets at our local firehouse social club. We always play the "tear-off" gambling games and have won many a pack of filet, lobster, fish, ribs, or chicken. We have literally stocked our freezer some seasons with their "meat boards." Good stuff too from local butchers, markets and a seafood store!  Veggies chopped!  I made the entire frozen pack of cod, like 12 filets. I added seasoning to them and just baked them in the oven, nothing special, with a topping of salsa. I had half of the cod left over so the next day, I set out online to find a good recipe to use of the rest.  Scouring the internet (ok, like one page on Google), I found this recipe for potato and cod soup. The link for the recipe is: (the link is SAFE) https://www.olgasflavorfactory.com/lunch/potato-cod-soup/ Simmering away on the stove. The potato and cod so...

"2020 is a dumpster fire"  Sorting through paperwork of years' past, I came across this list below which I had sent my Mom back in August of 1992! I was pleasantly surprised when I came across it. I don't know where it comes from. I may have even wrote it myself.  To update it, I added some quips and quotes after each one. Honestly, 28 years later, the list doesn't need much updating. But what's a blog post without at least a little bit of my bite. Enjoy and stay safe and healthy everyone!  1. Eat with chopsticks (Most days I cannot even handle a fork.) 2. Share a task (Or just let it go, someone else may do it!)  3. Ask for a back rub (Max the Cat gives excellent back rubs with his paws. He's cheap, just some catnip!)  4. Walk to the nearest park (But you may receive a ticket for non-social distancing.)  5. Bake bread (I know alot of you have been doin' this! I just EAT bread.)  6. Enjoy silence (Really ... shut the heck up...